Ken je dat gevoel als je een opeens een lied/muziekje van vroeger hoort...En er is dat ''swoosh'' effect terug naar je verleden..Haast melancholisch!

Dat heb ik dus nu op dit moment al luisterend naar ''Range Life-Pavement''...

Range Life
   ------Pavement


after the glow, the scene, the stage, the set
talk becomes slow but there's one thing i'll never forget:
hey, you gotta pay your dues before you pay the rent.
over the turnstile turn out in the traffic
there's ways of living it's the way i'm living
right or wrong, it's all that i can do,
and i wouldn't want to let you be

i want a range life, if i could settle down,
if i could settle down, then i would settle down
[x2]

run from the pigs, the fuzz, the cops, the heat
pass me your gloves, there's crime and it's never complete
until you snort it up or shoot it down
you're never gonna feel free
out on my skateboard the night is just hummin'
and the gum smacks are the pulse i'll follow if my walkman fades
but i've got absolutely no one, no one but myself to blame

don't worry- we're in no hurry
school's out, what did you expect?

i want a range life, if i could settle down,
if i could settle down, then i would settle down
[x2]

out on tour with the smashing pumpkins
nature kids, i/they don't have no function
i don't understand what they mean
and i could really give a fuck.
the stone temple pilots,
they're elegant bachelors
they're foxy to me are they foxy to you?
i will agree theY DESERVE absolutely nothing
nothing more than me

dreamin' dream dream dream....


has anyone bothered to ask Steve Malkmus about this?

Monday afternoon I had lunch with old friend. She is from Vienna in the past lived in Amsterdam for a while..We werent hanging then,too busy with consuming large quantities of hashish..to even notice eachother..She kicked her addiction,I kicked mine. (well sorta...what a junkie you are Andrea telling lies huh? Aw shut up,only in the evening some minor minor smoking consumption..yeah tell that to your self.Well I am since this is my verbal crapcorner I am yakking to me.).She moved back to Vienna I popped out a coupla kids..

Got in touch through Internet...Now when she is travelling she makes pitstops in Amsterdam,and we do lunch..I like her..Think she is funny and intelligent..We met at our old hangout;a local coffeeshop.

Another friend was there too..Kreet..She is from Estonia...Comes back every so often...Stays in Amsterdam too long...does nothing but drugs...I always thought (hoe naief) she only did weed and hash..Today I saw her and her face was completly covered in huge boils..pimples or whatever you wanna call it...She was ignoring me , i said hey lets talk..she said:....murmle..nothing ..

Later on whilst having lunch I mentioned to the lady from Vienna,what a strange situation it was back at the shop..She said: Kreet,kreet is on heroin...She is out there,she looks like shit and really should be put away ,taken from Amterdam...Strange thing was..that years ago,she was in a state which resembled the state she s in today.She then moved back to Estonia got her life on track and became a collegestudent.....Back then it was the old boyfriend who mentioned heroin...How can it be,that with someone so close im not capable of recognising addiction..?

My sister said,dont let her in to your life anymore...Vienna lady said something likewise....I do feel bad...Yeah I know the friendship is over,the situation back in the coffeeshop sorta confirmed what I allready knew..Still it hurts...A double loss..The loss of a friend (who is really great fun when she is sober,or clean) and the loss of somebody to a substance bigger then life...

20six has new features,and now my bloggiewoggie is screwed..(see links)..Right now I just dont have the sense,wits to look whats wrong and change it..I have a hangover,and cough up nicotine coughs..Goddamit..Why am I not like the likes of a C.Buwkowski? Or even like Hemingway (although his:''The Sun also Rises..was the most boring book I ever read..yawn) at least i could be hammered and perform..Well not with writing..My writing is bad and only serves as an output..Ok ...Like the likes of a Klashorst..(my favo artist...I miss your emails and flickr contributions)..I would be able to do anything slightly contstructive..

HANGOVER

Tight jeans Tight shirt

My special outfit

Compulsive neurotic internet behaviour

What if

Mail came today

Smooth Shaven Ready

All activities on hold

Doesnt add up

Compute with my cravings

There I hold hoops

I throw bones

You

You jump You gnarl

My body submissive

Craving Longing Lust

Now I jump I gnarl

On nothing

No bone No hoop

As of today

I hold up my own hoop

Throw my own bone

The only one jumping gnarling

Me

Oooh..Purrr-lease..throw me a bone...Lemme gnarl on it!

Waiting for the mail that never came.

New things to come. Or not.

Was it the neurotics,the saggy belly?

Am I over the hill?

But so are you...

I triggered jelousy.....I know Ive got a huge ego,which is often wrong..Not on this one..your reactions where so childish..Bitter emails..I m surprised. I triggered an argument (so what else is new),you removed me from your list...I was so sad and down,because I couldnt understand the need to hurt,to be cruel. I stepped back looked at it from a distance..

Now I know..

Confusing times...

I mailed you my phonenumber: ''Call me when I do not expect it,then explain the need to be cruel..I like to give it a place..Move on..Forget all about you..