I always had some sort of vaque feeling idea...ANd even others told me before. But it never really hit me until now...
I am NOT an artist. I am an illustrator. Next week is going to be my 4rth week on my new school. And they are all so serious about it. The students ,they know all of the important painters. ANd they all try so hard..including me...But Hhhmm I dont know: I like comics,I know comicartists,illustrators,streetartists,I like painters who are selfmade,who didnt went to artschool. ANd yes, I now some basic highschoolstuff about the history of art...But jeez,there opinions are all so SAFE. So on the good side,afraid to name an artist who is perhaps even a bit tacky,afraid .
Im going to stay a year,perhaps 2 years,and then I want to learn everything about illustration...The strange thing is...Rietveld is calling my name...I who was always against Rietveld,now feel drawn towards Rietveld...
But I LIKE going to school.. I m so nervy everytime the week starts. Pain in my tummy. Smoking before I enter the school. Its because Im afraid Im going to fail,its because Im failing all the time during my lessons. And I HATE it. I was always the best of my artclasses,and I still want to be the best,the teachers pet...purrr