Is it possible you may ask your self to smoke as a non smoker (or at least that WAS the thing I kept trying for 5 years) ..to smoke 10 cheap siggies in uhm 45 minutes time...?

Yes it is...Me..God how i love to smoke!!! I felt it after...how my chest was suffering (hey didnt I came from a family with notorious longdiseases? Cancer,lack of lung or chronic bronchitus or Asthma ??)

I smoke to forget how human I am,how I am going to face death..deal with the loss of love,friendship..To deal with emotions that I find to hard to deal with. I smoke . I am suffering,and for ever  a true addict.

I wrote a letter,I dont do letters. Out of sight out of mind..or heart. I think im heading for serious trouble.