I noticed that among those women who have past the age of 30 that there is a general lie that goes around:

Life is better at the age or past the age of 30. FUCK THAT!!! I hate every f*cking second of it,the loss of youth. And the lack of male attention. Is life so shallow...yes it is. Why are we being lured into believing that it is better for our self esteem to save your self for that special one,or not to have a lot of sex with different men..otherwise you get a bad rep (I was being brought up by a ex-roman catholic father who was drenched in a double morality by his parents,and happily past that on to his kids)??

God I should have fucked loads of men...Now it is too late.

THis morning as I was preparing myself for art school tonight (YESSS..my first lesson,I am really nervy) and as I was doodling in my sketchbook I wrote a little something,nothing spectaculair ,here it goes...(full of selfpity hahahah sad old bitch)

   Nobody ever looks at me.      I now fully start to grasp the concept of hating those who are 20. Deep down I know its cause old bitches cant conceive. But recently I made  some new friends. Mr.Tarzan (2 batts only) Mr.Botox and the lovely Miss Collageen.

Strange to realise that my own daughters are going to get the same double morality treatment as I got. ANd it isnt revenge.