The first time I did it,was when he went away to his new sweetheart and left me crying in the dark. Moon was full and I was horny ,sad and angry. I smashed his wineglass against the red wall. With a piece of shattered glass I carved in my leg,to forget how much I was suffering.
There was instant relief.
Years later with my current sweetheart in the kitchen we where fighting;shouting. He dragged up some mistakes. He did that for years. I never got around to pay my dues. Always had to suffer .Pushed all my buttons. All of them. I quickly opened the kitchen drawer and grabbed the first knife. The blade instantly went for my flesh,not to deep. The sight,blood left us starteled. He was in shock. I was glad my madness was out in the open.And more the pain was gone.
Tonight I realised how I dwell in memories. How I miss the lies I ve created.Reality hit me. If it wasnt for the kiddies in their cribs. I would have gone out. Out to hurt myself in order to forget.
The Tattoos,the piercings,the sex,the DIY tattoo where all merely legit excuses to cut in my flesh. I can stab my self,so can you. You are allowed to hurt my flesh. As long as you dont hurt my soul
