To kill the depression..to forget how futile my little life is ..To drown in a blanket of  soft nothing..But also to feel like a teenager ..I went over to my sisters house the other night..And spend an evening with her,her friend and her oldest son..The old women had coctails...He my nephew drank a beer and watched bewildered as both mommie and auntie lost the last bits of normality. Man !!! I got totally pissed..Had 8 coctails and two shots of liquir/likeur (jeezis what IS the right spelling?) And I hardly ever drink...I am glad that i spend my entire teenage years without a single drop of alcohol..(Ok fair is fair i smoked loads of pot..But pot is laidback always mixed with your own sense of rationality and the next day you dont feel a single thing)..Because although Im not really fond of the burning sensation of alcohol and the taste is often more disgusting then it is nice,I am quite fond of getting drunk...Dangerous realisation.

I miss my friends..It isnt cool to hang with the buddy of your sister .So lets get drunk on Absinth tonight..hahah Nope being sober is a nice state too..In about a coupla years I will have a night like that again..Glad...Cant imagine that a lot of folks get like this a coupla times a week....Thats Sick

Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidson
Je n'reconnais plus personn'
En Harley Davidson
J'appui sur le starter
Et voice que je quitte la terre
J'irai p't'être au Paradis
Mais dans un train d'enfer
Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidson
Je n'reconnais plus personn'
En Harley Davidson
Et si je meurs demain
C'est que tel était mon destin
Je tiens bien moins à la vie
Qu'à mon terrible engin
Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidson
Je n'reconnais plus personn'
En Harley Davidson
Quand je sens en chemin
Les trépidations de ma machine
Il me monte des désirs
Dans le creux de mes reins
Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidson
Je n'reconnais plus personn'
En Harley Davidson
Je vais à plus de cent
Et je me sens à feu et à sang
Que m'importe de mourir
En Harley Davidson

I have a Flickr account..Which I like a lot..I post pictures there..Blurry shots created on my mobile phone and sketches and doodles..I have a nice contact list..Mainly other (pro) artists,graffiti artists,etc...There from all over the world,and it is really nice AND inspiring to look at eachothers work..And the buzz when a pro-artist likes your work is all the bigger then when somebody who isnt into ''your stuff'' likes it..But one of those artists..;a pretty good artist really..Has developed quite an apetite in posting his sex-capades...And he runs his pics through photshop putting this gritty layer on it,making it look all the more disgusting..Women where first portrayed with there face,but since the guy is bi-sexual he sometimes posts his male adventures as well..But with the man all parties are anonimous!!?? I mean..Really..And he writes about it as it is the mistake of his lover..because his lover really is gay and he is not,and he is lured in to it by his lover...Jeezzzz..God ..At first he wrote about the women as if they where just there because of the free drug available....So women can lose there privacy just because they are women hooked on drugs????

How twisted is that!!!!!

Anyway one more sleezy pic and im going to bann him ..Shame really he draws and paint realllly good

I dont understand ..Why the need for shallow lies? Really !!! Always liked the cruel reality present within you..I loved you for that. Sharp,cruel,rude,cynical,sarcastic..And then slowly it shifted..I noticed more and more lies....

I liked you a lot,had a lot of respect..Took you as you where/are..Yes cliche,shallow once again im not digging in deeper into the real context..who cares..Caring...should never be mistaken for easy,soft target..Gradual shapeshifting makes you as boring as the grey matter that you looked down on. The numb,carefree workingclass that likes to chill in front of a TV set...You think youre different,you ve created an alternative realm..On your site its only about how wonderful you are. Where s the funny selfcritism?

Here s another cliche:

Man with small dicks/peckers/slungs/ (you can make this one up) need to surround them selves with big flashy cars and a lot of  air in order to score.....

It seems that I am on dangerous grounds these days..But I have to..My life is futile and boring and god im really lonely..And I just cannot take any more of this solitude...Im gonna jump in...See where its going to take me..Have to be more independent anyway..This weekend however was a good reminder that I really have become a classic housewife...man leaves for a coupla days...my electricity breaks down,my router is disconnected,lightbulbs exploted and my heather/kachel just died and I had to kickstart it..I felt good when I repared all the things (lets just leave out the bits where I franticly called the man on my cell..being all panicky)

Lets hope im going to have loads of new adventures

'Verdonk roept GroenLinks-bestuurders op matje'

Uitgegeven: 26 februari 2006 23:26

Dit 'inhumane' beleid, dat wordt gesteund door een meerderheid van de Tweede Kamer, leidt er volgens GroenLinks toe dat uitgeprocedeerde vluchtelingen daklozen worden. Verdonk heeft besloten dat enkele groepen vluchtelingen terug moeten naar hun land van herkomst. Veel vluchtelingen zijn echter niet meer welkom in hun land of lopen gevaar wanneer ze terugkeren, stelt GroenLinks. Deze mensen worden uit opvangcentra gezet en belanden volgens de oppositiepartij op straat.

De burgemeesters en wethouders van GroenLinks weigeren de politie af te sturen op de vluchtelingen. Ze gaan geld beschikbaar stellen voor noodopvang en 'actief zoeken naar nieuwe opvangruimte'. GroenLinks wil niet afgaan op informatie van Verdonk en gaat de dossiers van vluchtelingen 'zelf per persoon bekijken'.

Het manifest met de titel 'Maak van vluchtelingen geen daklozen' werd zaterdag bekend gemaakt door GroenLinks-Kamerlid Marijke Vos. Bestuurders uit onder meer Nijmegen, Tilburg, Wageningen en Maastricht hebben zich achter het manifest geschaard. Vos is zelf kandidaat-wethouder voor Amsterdam