OOOH NOOoooooooo! God..Jeeezis..F*ckin irritating . Just wrote an entry,wanted to upload a videoclip and then I pressed something and ..swoosh ..gone entry.Ai Caramba.

Well again..

I love Kimya Dawson..Love her music,her art. Loved her when she was part of The Moldy Peaches and love her sad antifolk songs since she is on her own. I once took my friend Tigra with me,when Miss.Dawson was performing in Paradiso..For some odd reason the whole place was packed with lesbiens..T and I felt very straight all of a sudden. lol

Now Kimya is coming to Haarlem (''Patronaat''14-10 21.30pm entrance free) she brings with her Schwervon (very nice ) and some other singer/

Hi...Currently Im checking out a possible new provider. Because I want to start ;''audioblogging''. Most blog providers are not good enough,well if you are a wizz and know a lot about html then blogspot is good..But Im not a wizz,more a lazy woman..So soon im checking out. then its bye bye 20six.

Aaah the crazy world of digital camera:

I noticed that among those women who have past the age of 30 that there is a general lie that goes around:

Life is better at the age or past the age of 30. FUCK THAT!!! I hate every f*cking second of it,the loss of youth. And the lack of male attention. Is life so shallow...yes it is. Why are we being lured into believing that it is better for our self esteem to save your self for that special one,or not to have a lot of sex with different men..otherwise you get a bad rep (I was being brought up by a ex-roman catholic father who was drenched in a double morality by his parents,and happily past that on to his kids)??

God I should have fucked loads of men...Now it is too late.

THis morning as I was preparing myself for art school tonight (YESSS..my first lesson,I am really nervy) and as I was doodling in my sketchbook I wrote a little something,nothing spectaculair ,here it goes...(full of selfpity hahahah sad old bitch)

   Nobody ever looks at me.      I now fully start to grasp the concept of hating those who are 20. Deep down I know its cause old bitches cant conceive. But recently I made  some new friends. Mr.Tarzan (2 batts only) Mr.Botox and the lovely Miss Collageen.

Strange to realise that my own daughters are going to get the same double morality treatment as I got. ANd it isnt revenge.                                                                 

Is it possible you may ask your self to smoke as a non smoker (or at least that WAS the thing I kept trying for 5 years) ..to smoke 10 cheap siggies in uhm 45 minutes time...?

Yes it is...Me..God how i love to smoke!!! I felt it after...how my chest was suffering (hey didnt I came from a family with notorious longdiseases? Cancer,lack of lung or chronic bronchitus or Asthma ??)

I smoke to forget how human I am,how I am going to face death..deal with the loss of love,friendship..To deal with emotions that I find to hard to deal with. I smoke . I am suffering,and for ever  a true addict.

I wrote a letter,I dont do letters. Out of sight out of mind..or heart. I think im heading for serious trouble.